香山リカのココロの万華鏡:タレントと比べないで ／東京

October 14, 2012(Mainichi Japan)
Kaleidoscope of the Heart: Don't compare yourselves with celebrities
香山リカのココロの万華鏡:タレントと比べないで　／東京

Books on how to lose weight after giving birth have recently been selling well.
　「産後ダイエット」の本が大はやりだ。

These books typically feature female celebrities who have given birth.
本に登場するのは、出産を経験した女性タレントたち。

Specifically, they introduce exercise and dietary tips that helped celebrities -- whose weight increased by more than 10 kilograms after getting pregnant -- restore their body shape to that before they became pregnant.
妊娠して１０キロ以上、体重が増加したけれど、産後数カ月で以前の体形に元通り。

These stories are often accompanied by "before" and "after" pictures.
そのために役立ったのがこの体操や食事法なんです、と写真つきで紹介している本も多い。

Looking at these books out of curiosity, I find that they feature celebrities with brilliant smiles.
　興味本位でながめてみると、そこにはおなじみのタレントが輝くばかりの笑顔で写っている。

As someone who has never given birth, I become envious, wondering whether it's really true that women are the most beautiful shortly after giving birth.
「へえ、独身時代よりむしろきれいになったみたい。やっぱり子どもを産んだ直後の女性は最高に美しいってホントなのかな」と子どもを持ったことのない私はちょっぴりうらやましくなる。

However, this is not apparently the case with every woman.
　でも、これは万人に当てはまるわけではないようだ。

A woman who has two children aged three and one lamented in my consultation room, "I can't restore my body shape to what it was before I gave birth.
診察室で１歳と３歳の子どもを持つ女性が言っていた。「出産後、体形も戻らないし、

I have no time or the emotional space to think about my own beauty in the first place.
だいたい美容になんか気をつかう時間も気持ちのゆとりもないですよ。

Look at my worn-out skin and messy hair."
見てください、肌もボロボロだし髪もバサバサ……。

She added, "The other day, my husband was watching TV and said, 'That celebrity is beautiful even though she has three children,' and looked at me as if he were comparing her with me, so I became furious."
このあいだ夫がテレビを見ながら“このタレント、子どもが３人もいるのにきれいだなあ”と言って、比べるような目でこっちを見たので、キレて怒鳴ってしまいました」

She said her husband was usually busy with work and hardly helped with the kids, forcing her to take care of everything at home.
　ふだん夫は仕事に追われてほとんど育児にも協力してくれず、女性はひとりですべてをこなさなければならない。
It must be intolerable to have to be compared with celebrities on top of that.
その上、タレントと自分とを比べられては、たまったものではないだろう。

It is true that I meet far more women who have been depressed from stress and fatigue after childbirth than those who remain beautiful and luminous after having children.

For those exhausted women, books featuring celebrities who remain beautiful after giving birth are nothing but an eyesore.
そういう女性たちにとっては、「こんなに美しくなりました！」という出産タレントたちの本は、かえって目に毒だと言えるかもしれない。

I told a woman who complained she was worn out, "Celebrities have people who help them look after their children.
　「自分はボロボロ」と嘆く女性には、こう声をかけた。
「考えてみてくださいよ、タレントさんたちには子育てを手伝ってくれる人もいるでしょうし、

In a sense, dieting and looking beautiful are part of their work, so they get advice from lots of experts.
ダイエットや美容法を実践するのがある意味、仕事なのだから、専門家が大勢ついているわけでしょう。

You don't have to take them at face value and compare them with yourself.
うのみにして自分と比べる必要なんてないですよ。

Tell your husband that I said so."
夫にも、私がそう言っていたと伝えてください」

It is natural that many women are envious of those who maintain their body shape and beauty even after giving birth and handle their work as energetically as before.
　出産しても抜群のスタイルと美貌、生き生きと前と同じように仕事をこなす女性は、たしかにあこがれの的ではあるが、

But those women shouldn't be made into subjects of comparison that make you feel depressed.
自分と比較して落ち込む対象ではない。

It is wiser to look at such women with a cool eye saying to yourself, "They must have the support of so many people to be who they are."
「へえ、こうなるためにはずいぶん多くの人がサポートしてるんでしょうね」とちょっとナナメに見るくらいが、ちょうどいいのではないだろうか。

(By Rika Kayama, psychiatrist)
毎日新聞　2012年10月09日　地方版
〔都内版〕