香山リカのココロの万華鏡:いじめは誰にでも起きる ／東京

July 29, 2012(Mainichi Japan)
Kaleidoscope of the Heart: Bullying could happen to anyone
香山リカのココロの万華鏡:いじめは誰にでも起きる　／東京

The backlash against the problem of bullying has spread further.
　いじめ問題の波紋がさらに広がっている。

Following a recent publication of my column here, in which I wrote: "Why are those who are being bullied not seeking help? This is a problem that requires further thought," I was criticized for "trying to say that the victims who aren't seeking help are to blame."
　このコラムで「なぜ『いじめられてる』とＳＯＳを出せないか。もう一度、考えてみたい」と書いたら、「サインを出せない被害者が悪いと言いたいのか」と批判の声が上がった。

Needless to say, that is not the case. What I was really trying to say is that there are cases when, being in the swirl of all of this turmoil, some people are just unable to call for help, because they cannot fully realize what is happening to them.
　もちろんそうではない。私がいちばん言いたかったのは、「その渦中にあるときには自分の身に何が起きているのか、はっきりわからず、ＳＯＳの声も上げられない場合がある」ということだ。

As a matter of fact, I have witnessed this situation at my consultation room a couple of times now.
診察室でも何度もそういう経験をした。

Among these cases was a parent who brought their junior high school-aged daughter to me, saying she had been unwilling to go to school.
After talking with the girl, I came to realize that she had been a victim of malicious bullying.
　あるとき「不登校ぎみなんです」と保護者に連れられて診察室に来た女子中学生といろいろと話しているうちに、その子は学校で陰湿ないじめ被害にあっていることがわかったことがあった。

However, when I told her that I think her problem was not her refusal to go to school, but the bullying itself, telling her she was correct not to go to school, she shook her head in denial, saying she disagrees with my opinion.
私は「不登校じゃなくていじめじゃないの。学校に行かないのは正解だよ」と言ったのだが、女子生徒は「えっ、そうなんですか。違うと思います」と首を横に振るばかりだった。

I wonder, could this be some sort of refusal to accept that one is being bullied?
「いじめられている、なんて思いたくない」ということなのだろう。

There are other cases, in which although bullied children gather courage to tell their parents and schools that they have been bullied, the adults themselves refuse to accept the reality.
　中には、子どもが勇気を出していじめを認め、保護者や学校に申し出ても、今度はおとなたちが「まさか、いじめだなんて」と現実を見ようとしない場合もある。

I wonder if this is what happened at the school in Otsu, where a boy committed suicide after being bullied by classmates.
今回の大津市の問題もこれに当たるのだろうか。

Many adults think that for bullying to occur, there should be other fundamental problems happening at the institution.
そういったおとなたちは「いじめ事件が起きるのは、日ごろから何か問題があるからだ」と思っていて、

Many people refuse to accept that bullying is actually happening, on the grounds that theirs is "a proper institution, that has nothing to do with badly handled households or schools."
「ウチはしっかりやっている。そういったダメな家庭、学校とは違う」と思い込みたいために、「これはいじめなんかじゃない」と言ってしまうのだ。

We all need to acknowledge that, unfortunately, with the current school system and society, bullying could happen anywhere.
　まず、誰もが認めなければならないのは、残念ながらいまの社会、いまの学校では、どんなところでもいじめの問題はすぐに起きる、ということだ。

Therefore, people who have fallen victim to bullying or schools where such incidents have occurred do not need to think that there is something wrong with them or the institution.
そして、いじめが起きたからといって、「私が悪いんだ」「ウチはダメな学校になってしまった」などと考える必要はない。

Children who are being bullied should try to stay away from the place where that is happening, or in other words -- the school.
被害を受けてしまったら、本人はいじめが起きる場、つまり学校から逃げる。

Such children's parents should welcome them at home, while school officials should share the responsibility for the incident and deal with it together, instead of putting it all on the child's homeroom teacher or other single individuals.
保護者は逃げてきた子どもを、家でしっかり受けとめる。学校はそのクラスの担任教員などひとりにすべての責任を押しつけることはしないで、みんなで問題を共有して対処する。

Nobody should try to turn a blind eye to bullying or attempt to hide the truth from the public.
いじめから目をそらしたり、外に対して隠そうとしたりしてはいけない。

In order to protect children from being bullied, you should not think of it as something atypical.
　いじめから子どもを守るためにも、いじめを特殊なものと見ないで。

You should think of it as something that could happen anywhere and to anyone.
どこにでも誰にでも起きるものだと考えて。

I would like to repeat that one more time.
もう一度、そう繰り返したい。

(By Rika Kayama, psychiatrist)
毎日新聞　2012年07月24日　地方版