香山リカのココロの万華鏡：まず目の前を大切に ／東京

(Mainichi Japan) January 8, 2012
Kaleidoscope of the Heart: Doing things in your own way a good enough goal for 2012
香山リカのココロの万華鏡：まず目の前を大切に　／東京

At the end of last year, I was interviewed by a magazine and was asked for my goals and words to live by in the year 2012.
　昨年末に雑誌の取材を受けて、「来年のご自身の目標やキーワードは何ですか」と聞かれたのでこう答えた。　

"Well, I don't have any particular goals, and I guess I'd live by the words 'for the time being' and 'in my own way,'" I answered.
「えーと、目標はとくになくて、キーワードは“とりあえず”と“それなりに”ですね」

The magazine editor there looked at me with an expression that said, "What? Are you joking?" but I was just being honest.
　それを聞いた編集者は、「はあ？　冗談でしょう？」と言いたげな顔をしたのだが、私としては、正直な気持ちを話しただけだ。

At the end of last year, many of my patients mentioned things being a certain way "for the time being" and that they'd done something or another "in their own way."
　診察室でも年末には、この「それなりに」「とりあえず」という言葉を何度も聞いた。

They all had plenty to deal with, since they faced illness in addition to the earthquake disasters and the long-continuing recession that affected the entire country.
大震災、長引く不況、その上、患者さんたちにとっては病気との闘いもあるわけだから、誰もがいわゆる“いっぱいいっぱい”。

As the end of such an eventful year approached, it was only natural for my discussions with patients to turn to how far they'd made it -- in their own way, and how they hoped to make similar progress -- for the time being.
その中で迎えた年末に、「まあ、自分なりになんとかがんばって、ようやくここまで来た感じですね」「とりあえず来年も、いまのペースでゆっくりやっていきますよ」という会話になるのは、ごく自然のことだろう。

And that's no easy feat. Under such unfavorable conditions, making it to the end of one year and welcoming the next even if it is "in one's own way" is actually a grueling task.
　いや、それどころではない。この苦難の状況の中、たとえ「とりあえず」であっても年末までこぎつけ、そして新しい年を迎えるというのは、実はたいへんなことなのだ。

"Doing things in your own way, at least for the time being, to get by is an incredible achievement," I might say to a patient. "It's because you've been working so hard at your day-to-day life and treatment that you've come this far."
　「とりあえず、それなりにやってきた。それって、とてもすごいことじゃないですか。あなたが一生懸命、生活や治療に取り組んできたからこそ、そう言えるんですよ」

In normal conversation, the possible subtext of the phrases "in my own way" and "for the time being" is that whatever has been accomplished is sufficient only according to a subjective yardstick, and that any achievement is temporary.
　ふだんの会話の中では、「とりあえず」や「それなりに」という言葉は、決して良い意味では使われない。

They have the negative implication that things have been left unfinished and people have been left unsatisfied.
なんだか中途半端で終わったとか、不満足なままだった、といったあいまいな感じがするときに使われることがほとんどだ。

But in these times, it's especially hard to attain high ideals or perfect success.
　とはいえこの時代、高いところにある理想とか完璧な成功だとかを追い求めても、そこにはなかなか到達しない。

On the contrary, we are sometimes treated to unpredictable incidents and unexpected sources of stress.
それどころか、私たちの毎日には、いろいろなアクシデントも起これば思わぬ悩みごとがわいてくることもある。

Amidst all that, we have to do what we can to take on a day at a time while not giving up, at least for the time being.
　そんな中、すべてを「もうダメだ」と投げ出すことなく、「とりあえず、今日一日」と自分に言い聞かせながら目の前にあることに取り組む。

Keeping that up is no simple task.
　その積み重ねは、決して簡単なことではない。

I expect there are many others who, like me, have yet to set up a particular goal for this year.
　私に限らず、これといった今年の目標がまだ立っていない、という人もたくさんいるだろう。

To those people I recommend that for the time being, you just try doing things in your own way.
そういう人に私はおすすめしたい。
「まずは、とりあえず今日だけ、自分なりにやれることをやってみる、というのはどうでしょう」。

I, too, hope to move forward this year not by chasing after goals too high or too far, but by first of all treasuring those things and people directly in front of me, and taking each step slowly.
私も遠くや高いところはあまり見ずに、まずは目の前の人やものを大切にしながら、ゆっくりと生きていきたい。今年もよろしくお願いします。

(By Rika Kayama, psychiatrist)
毎日新聞　2012年1月4日　地方版