香山リカのココロの万華鏡：震災前の自分に戻る

(Mainichi Japan) April 24, 2011
Kaleidoscope of the Heart: Returning to our pre-earthquake selves
香山リカのココロの万華鏡：震災前の自分に戻る　／東京

Since the earthquake, I have called for people to live their lives like they did before the disaster as much as possible. I recently thought about how I myself have done on that front.
　震災以来、「なるべくいつも通りの生活を」と呼びかけてきたが、私自身、どうだろうとふと考えてみた。

Thinking about it, I realized a few things. One is that when I've gone to bookstores recently, I haven't been buying novels or medical books like usual. Instead I end up buying nothing but magazines related to the earthquake or the nuclear plant disaster. Another thing I realized was that, even though I've been telling people to "distract themselves for even a little while with a movie or music," I myself haven't set foot in a movie theater.
　そういえば、本屋さんに寄ってもなかなか小説や医学の専門書を手に取る気にならず、気がつけば地震や原発について書かれた雑誌ばかり買っている。「映画や音楽でひとときでも気をまぎらわせて」と言っているのに、映画館にも行っていない。

And, I realized that when my job at the hospital is over and I get myself ready to write an article like this, I end up writing about the earthquake disaster even if I didn't plan on it. It all showed me that my life is not back to its predisaster ways.
病院での仕事が終わってこうして原稿を書こうとすると、つい震災のことを書いてしまう。「なんだ、私もまだ平常通りの生活に戻ってないじゃないか」とちょっと反省した。

Last week I had a chance to go to Sendai, one month having passed since the earthquake. I met a friend from my high-school years who is now working as a researcher. She said that since the earthquake, she has been busy checking on the safety of her students and getting her lab equipment back in order. Keeping a cheerful mood, she said she was borrowing the bath of her friend's house because the gas line at her own house was still out.
　先週、震災から１カ月を経た仙台に行く機会があり、現地の大学で研究生活を送る高校の同級生に会った。彼女は学生の安否確認やめちゃめちゃになった実験設備の修復に追われている、と言う。「ガスもまだ復旧してないから、お風呂は友だちの家で借りてるんだけどね」と明るく笑う彼女に、私は尋ねてみた。

I asked her, "Has your life completely changed because of the earthquake? These days, how much of your time is spent dealing with things like the aftermath of the earthquake and preparing for aftershocks? Around 80 percent or so?"
　「震災で生活も一変しちゃった？　今って、地震の後始末や余震への対応が毎日の何割くらいを占めてるの？　８割くらいがそんな感じ？」

"Hmm," she thought for a second, tilting her head. Then came an unexpected answer: "Maybe around 20 percent."
　すると、「うーん」と一瞬、首をひねった彼女から返ってきた答えは、意外なものだった。「２割くらいかな」

She said that, yes, there were lots of earthquake-related things to take care of, but she was also going to international academic conferences and running experiments, just as usual. Her life had not been completely turned upside-down.
　たしかに震災に関した用事も多いが、その一方でいつも通り、国際学会に出かけたり実験をしたりもしているという。そうか、すべてが変わってしまったわけじゃないんだ、と私は納得した。

Just because the earthquake happened doesn't mean that we no longer like the food we once did, that the job we took pride in is now meaningless, or that a person with a kind, humor-loving personality must change. Thinking back to who we were before the earthquake, we can try to slowly get back into the things we were interested in, and restart the things we had begun. By doing so, we should be able to feel how our pre- and post-earthquake selves are a continuation of the same existence, and our feelings should change for the better.
　これまで好きだった食べものが、震災が起きたからといってきらいになるわけじゃない。やっていた仕事が、突然、無意味なものに変わるわけじゃない。やさしい、ユーモアが好き、といった性格の特徴も同じはず。「震災の前の私はどうだっけ」と思い出して、そのときにハマっていたもの、手がけていたものを、できればまた少しずつ始めてみる。そうして「自分や心は震災前も後も連続しているんだ」と確認するだけで、気分はずいぶん違うのではないだろうか。

For my part, I've recently started to read a book I bought before the earthquake but had been leaving untouched since. It has been as interesting as I hoped, and it made me feel that my pre-disaster self had returned.
　私も、震災前に「読もう」と思って買ったままになっている本を読み始めた。それは期待通りの面白さで、３月以前の自分が戻ってくるような気がした。

Aftershocks will continue for some time, and many people will continue to be occupied with the results of the disaster, but I would like people to try saying to themselves, "Be it last year or this year, the person called 'me' is the same." (By Rika Kayama, psychiatrist)
余震も続きまだまだ落ち着かない生活を送る人も多いが、「私という人間は、去年も今年もちっとも変わってないんだ」とつぶやいてみてほしい。

毎日新聞　2011年4月19日　地方版